Recovering from an illness is like winning the grand prize of a lottery ticket!
If you would notice my lips are now aligned and that I can smile better. Though the most important thing I believe is that I can speak better and I can eat better. No more messy food in my table and there is no longer that tingling sensation in my mouth.
I let the weeks pass by working hard, daily therapy and hot compress at night. Fought depression hard! Sometimes I would myself crying at night because I miss my mom so much especially that I have this condition. I would think of her taking good care of me and caressing me to sleep so I won’t feel sad. There are times when I would question God for giving me so much misery when he knows that mom is no longer here to help me make it through. I would wonder why he would test my strength and my FAITH when HE already has my mom…But then again, perhaps he just wants me to always remember HIM…
Anyway, I have made plans already for the next few months. I want to meet my other highschool friends, my college friends, new-found friends and visit places I have never been. But yes, I need to save though for that. LOL! I need to work harder (and bill higher)! to afford all plans I have made…Hmmm…God will take good care of me, I know that for for sure. If it’s meant to be, it will be. One thing this trials is teaching me to TRUST the Lord for his well-made plans for me.
What I have learned in my 42 years of existence:
Respect my self.
Be kind to my self.
Love my self.
After doing the first 3, I learned to:
Respect other people.
Being kind to people.
Loving humanity as I would have love my family.
I also learned that even if I respect other people, there will be others who does not understand the concept of respect. They feel that you owe them whatever you have. They feel like they OWN you.
I also learned that even if I am kind to people, there will be some who will take advantage of my kindness thinking I am stupid not to know the difference.
Fortunately for them, I know when to stress myself and when not to. If someone or something is not helping me to be happy, healthy and successful then I say adios! so long! farewell!
I learned to know where I stand. Learned who I am and what I am.
I learned that I will never beg to be loved, to be respected and to be understood.
I am me. I am not stubborn, just wiser.
Just finished with my evening therapy session a couple of minutes ago. I am so thankful to God for healing me this fast! Daily dose of steroids, face massage therapy, reflexology, hot compress and lots of prayers paid off!
Although, I keep on delaying my doctor’s visit…Well, I did. Last Monday, July 10. As what my neurologist told me. However, when I got there the secretary said that he has no schedule during Mondays! How convenient! I asked for a leave from work because of that and then that was it! Anyway, why stress my self over things that are not so important!
During the first week was really a struggle. Especially my work entails calling. So yeah, I have to speak. What I did was to really talk so slowly and refrain from saying words with the letter “P”. So very careful with words with letter “F” and “S”! Ha! Ha! But I was more concerned about my depression too. I really tried hard not to be depressed! Imagine being messy while eating? At my age? Messy?! Grrrrr! Working so hard made me forget I am sick though…
I hope I am fully recovered by Sunday. You see, it’s my 42nd birthday! Yes, I’m old, eh?! Well, it’s just a number! I feel like I am only 25! Lol!
I would prefer to visit the doctor next week and see if I need to finish all the steroids he prescribed (30pcs 20mg each). Ask also effective dosage of Vit B, B1 and B12 for my age. I’d rather be well informed than always consult Google!
Today marks the first day after I was diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy. And heck, the struggle is real!
I woke up scared that my face turned to worst. Scared that I might not be able to do the usual things I needed to do. Infact I stayed for about 30 minutes in bed before I stood up and started my usual day.
Today is July 1st. Brand new day, brand new month, brand new goals! I won’t let this illness hinder me from doing what I need to do and what I loved to do. Yep! Working! Well, honestly I am enjoying what I do. I am into social media management and some administrative tasks.
I had breakfast with the family and I noticed that I can’t eat using a tablespoon (we use tablespoon to eat) but only a teaspoon. I just can’t control my mouth enough and so I get a bit messy. I can’t drink properly without the use of a straw. Ding it! So would that mean I won’t go out and have fun? Well, that remains to be seen.
I took a bath and I noticed I had to help my left eye to close so water won’t get inside…how inconvenient!
I turned on my PC and started to work…yeah, you got it right! I am having a hard time looking at it without having to wipe the tears away!
A friend told me that stress could be one of the reasons why I got this…well, not a far fetched idea as I have been stressed to the moon and back for the past few weeks! Maybe…maybe…
But as I have mentioned earlier, this illness won’t hinder me from doing what I have to do, needed to do and loved doing. Perhaps some of you would say that I have to stop and rest. Easier said than done. I have my father and my niece to feed. I have to pay for her tuition fee and her other needs. Plus, I have to have money for my regular check up and money to buy for my medication.
I have FAITH bigger than my problems so I know HE will take good care of me.