Lost

The darkness slowly creeps in. I run inside to look for that one thing that makes me feel safe when the moon starts to show itself. How can I find it when I don’t even see a thing? I try to recall where I last seen it and walk slowly to its place.

Its not there! I tried to move my hands around and see if it just moved a bit. Perhaps it fell down? I slowly sat and move my arms around trying to find it. Alas! Its still not there!

Think! Think where I last saw it! Maybe it was somewhere else… Could it be near the window? Could it be near the table?

Why did I have to wait for the darkness to creep in before I look for it? Now its too late! I can’t even remember where I last saw it.

How can I feel safe now when the last string of courage I have is gone? Oh darkness! How I wish for the morning Sun to come!

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Ill-Mannered Children are Caused by Parents Like You

Having 3 nieces around me, I would often find myself in a situation where I have to discipline them because they are in my house. 1 of 3 children literally lived with me since birth and her parents have left her in my care so I know I can discipline her the way I was disciplined by my parents. With the other 2, it was a different story. They are my brother’s children from his mistress (mistress #1…yes he has several…). The eldest is a very fine young girl who as we would often say very much like her paternal grandmother. Finesse, diligent and loving. All she needs is a guidance on how to be a good person to everyone. The youngest is a spoiled-brat. She would often throw tantrums at anytime and at anything.

I don’t blame the kid because it does not matter if she was born like that…She may be born a spoiled-brat but if her upbringing is different, how can she be one?

I blame her parents. I feel sorry for the kid.

In our world right now where we all have to be tough but knows when to compromise, how can these kids survive?

I read this article “If you don’t want your kids to be ill mannered, stop doing these 5 things” and I tell you, they are spot on!

1. Stop being afraid of them

If your child becomes demanding and you panic just to fulfill their request, this may be sending the wrong message. Kids may get used to the idea of using crying or throwing a fit as a way to manipulate. While indulging them is part of the way parents show they care, it’s important not to overdo it.

According to Dr. Susan Newman, the first step to changing unhealthy patterns is to ask yourself if you’re spoiling your kid by giving them “unearned privileges.” This happens when you give in to their every whim, for example, to gain their approval or make up for things you didn’t experience in your own childhood. Try to help them learn about the difference between a “want” and a “need.”

2. Stop making excuses for them

Keep yourself from downplaying bad behavior. Don’t justify their tantrums by saying things like “that’s just how children are” because this will inadvertently encourage them to continue this pattern of behavior.

Parenting Coach Lisa Bunnage cautions parents that the longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be to stop excusing your kid’s poor manners. She shares that her form of discipline is coupled with love—prioritizing rules, manners, and chores while tweaking it based on her kid’s needs.

“Remember to meet their needs and manage their wants,” she writes on Brat Busters.

3. Stop cautioning others not to scold them

Back in the day, it was normal for teachers and non-relative elders to scold kids, but now it’s widely frowned upon. Many moms prefer to focus on their own child while refraining to discipline someone else’s.

It’s important to be open to others disciplining your child—within reason. For instance, if your child’s teacher catches him misbehaving, she can’t very well let it slide. So long as you open the lines of communication with your kid’s teacher, she can be your helper in making sure your child is respectful and well behaved in school and at home.

4. Stop spoiling them

Dr. Jim Taylor suggests assessing what you’re teaching them daily. Are you helping them achieve the necessary “attitudes and skillsets” to be a functioning adult with healthy habits? When it comes to money, for instance, his advice is to ask yourself if you’re teaching them the value of respect, discipline, responsibility, and delayed gratification, which are traits that can’t be developed if you keep on giving them what they want.

5. Stop giving them shortcuts

No parent wants their kid to have a difficult time, but there is some merit to letting them work for things. A simple example would be when you’re at a restaurant and they start to get antsy, don’t just thrust an iPad in their faces so they can while away the time and leave you in peace.

Teach them to be patient and find ways to amuse themselves without the help of a gadget.

Another way to instill the value of hard work would be to require them to do chores even if you have household helpers. Teacher and dad of three Andrew Andestic says parents should encourage their kids to dream, but to emphasize that ambition is nothing without hard work.

Believing in kids while being honest with them, assuring them that you’ll always be there for them, will inspire confidence and compliance, not out of obligation but out of deep respect, which is the root of genuinely good and lasting manners.

I think this article summed it all up. Please dear parents, don’t bring up another spoiled brat into this world.

We all complain and kept on asking what is happening in this world when we all know that this is a product of how the leaders and society of today were brought up. Yes, we are either big headed or timid.

 

We are Working Too Hard

Working like there is no tomorrow – are you guilty of this thing too?

Working your butts off because you wanted to give everything that your family needs. But in doing so you forget to be part of your family’s lives. Working from morning till night and go home too tired to even ask your wife how was her day. Too tired to ask your parents if they took their medicine for arthritis. Too tired to ask your child if everything is okay in school.

Yes, we do get it. You say standard of living is too high. Competition in the workforce is fierce. There are a lot of people who would kill to get that job of yours. Well, okay that is too exaggerated. But yes, we do get it that there are a lot of unemployed people in the country and you are lucky to have one that feeds your family and much more. So of course you want to be the best in what you do and make sure that your company recognizes your effort. You make sure that you exceed whatever expectation they have on you.

You see, we totally understand it. But please try to slow down your work phase and see what you are missing in your everyday life.

Your wife who is very good in gardening and landscaping just impressed a couple of new neighbors and they want her to do their own garden. She also joined a community group so she can help others who are less fortunate. Isn’t she a wonderful human being? She really wanted to tell you all about these good news but when you came home from work last night you were too exhausted that you did not even ate the food she put on the table for you.

Your son who is in senior high school competing for swimming Olympics just won a Gold medal the other day. Your 12 year old daughter had her art works placed in exhibit in the community art museum. You never got the chance to see your son compete. You never get to see your daughter’s work admired by many and even bought for an unbelievable price. Why? You did not open the tiny note they left in your table that morning because you were rushing to get to work. You did not answer your phone because you were talking to an important client.

Your mom was sent to the hospital today because she had trouble breathing. You called your wife to take care of her because you have a dinner meeting with your boss. Your dad is having trouble standing up and walking because of his arthritis. You forgot to fill up their medicine. Why? Because you are too busy thinking of ways on how to improve your company’s marketing strategy to gain more profit.

When was the last time you let yourself relaxed and have a good time? Are you investing in your good health too?

Let me ask you, how important is your career achievement compared to your family? What if your mom dies today, can you find another mom to replace her? What if your daughter was raped and beaten to death on her way home from the museum because you were not able to pick her up? Can you find another daughter to replace her? If you lost your job today because you chose to rush to your mother’s side when she was sent to the hospital, can you find another job to replace the one you lost? Yes! It may take you some time but you will one day! Unlike losing a member of your family. Life can never be replaced.

Indeed having a secure a job is very important. But I hope you try to manage your time and be with your family too. Be there for them physically and emotionally. Appreciate them while they are with you. They can be taken away from you in just a snap of a finger. Learn to set your priorities. It’s never too late you know…

 

Out of the Ordinary

June 1st, I woke up earlier than usual and prepared to leave at 9am. I will have my pre-employment medical test.

A few days ago a former colleague called me and asked if I wanted to go back and work for their company. Being lonely and at the brink of madness I said yes but only if they will agree to my desired salary.

Working home-based for the past 5 years was a bliss. No traffic, no need to wear decent clothes and need not to worry about where and what to eat. My decision to work at home was mainly so that I can take care of mom who has been sickly and me being sick too. I was diagnosed with Cervical Dysplasia. My hemoglobin would dive down as low as 5 counts thus the need to do blood transfusion. I can only afford the blood transfusion and not yet the operation. Besides I was also very scared to do something like that because it might only shorten my life. Most female relatives who undergone the same procedure died after the operation…well, within the next 3 to 6 months. Finally on November 25, 2014, a good Samaritan shouldered my hospital expenses so I had the procedure done. Biopsy showed I have stage 1 cancer. It did not bothered me at all because my focus then was to make my mom’s health better. She has hypertension, she has diabetes and a heart condition. I was at home 24/7. Never want to leave her side just to make sure she will be alright.

But the unthinkable happened and she was called by our Father in heaven on May 7th of this year. Yes, I was devastated. I was so angry and about to go crazy. She was the most important person in my life. She was my everything. If only I can trade my life for my mom, I would.

And because I was just staying here at home for the past 5 years, I felt like I am about to go crazy because anywhere I look I can see my mom. So, that call on that fateful day was a blessing. I believe it’s time to do something out of the ordinary. Time to get out of my cave and start to mingle again – physically.

I hope that by doing this, it would help me even a bit in bringing my chaotic life back to normal. I hope my mom would agree too of what I did…

HOW: Life After My Mom Passed Away

 

I honestly don’t have any idea. Everything is bleak. It’s a gloomy world. The light of my life…the light of my family is gone. There will be no more nagging in the morning to take my breakfast before starting to work. There will be no more scolding so that I eat my lunch. There will be no more happy chatter before going to sleep at night. No one to soothe my worried mind.

Everyday, her last few hours here on earth kept on replaying in my mind. I felt like I have not done enough to keep her alive. I was not a good daughter for I was not able to make her happy and contented enough in life. There are so many ifs and what ifs.

It’s almost a month when she passed away and yet the pain and loneliness is still as fresh as if it was only an hour ago.

Life in our house has been as usual, mind you. But simply because I have to make sure it does. For my father’s sake. For my family’s sake. However, I am still struggling to make everything right in my own life.

I am in deep shit. I feel like I am not myself at all. I don’t know who I am at this point. There’s a part of me saying I am still me but there is also a part of me who wanted to be just a mad woman!

To be continued…

Too Late

YOU can never teach a guy to LOVE you the way you wanted to be LOVED…

YOU have to wait for HIM to do it in his own way at his own time…

– that’s the saddest part of being a girl…

However,

You can never teach a girl to LOVE the guy BACK the way she did before once she gets tired of always being the one to understand…Once she’s fed up waiting to be appreciated and love the way she deserved…

– that’s the saddest part of being an insensitive man…

 

 

Love is not Rational

Not all love story is a fairy tale. You may be happy in the beginning but eventually you would still part ways. Not all 2 people in love with each other will end up together. Not all love means happiness. Love is not rational.

Love is a tricky thing. The person whom you are in love with is the person who gives you infinite happiness and yet he/she is the same person that gives you the eternal heartache. Don’t get me wrong though. Love is not just tricky but also a very powerful emotion that can make someone do things unimaginable. Life without love is meaningless. Life with so much love can encompass everything else in the world.

What would happen if the person you love most is someone you cannot have? Someone you cannot be with? Your world would seem to fall apart. Darkness covers your whole being. It may be because you are both not compatible to each other or maybe another person is trying to get in the way. You would tell me that if you love each other you always be compatible. You see, that is what separated the young and the mature love. Young love tends to see that love conquers all! Mature love knows that somewhere along the way you would disagree on a lot of things. But of course you grew up in 2 different households! But if you knew how to compromise then maybe it would work out.

No, I am not being such a loser or bitter. I am just trying to say that sometimes love is not enough. You may love someone so deeply but if situation is at its worst we do not have the assurance that we can overcome them.

What if you fell in love with someone who is already owned by someone?