95% Healed From Bell’s Palsy

Recovering from an illness is like winning the grand prize of a lottery ticket!

If you would notice my lips are now aligned and that I can smile better. Though the most important thing I believe is that I can speak better and I can eat better. No more messy food in my table and there is no longer that tingling sensation in my mouth.

I let the weeks pass by working hard, daily therapy and hot compress at night. Fought depression hard! Sometimes I would myself crying at night because I miss my mom so much especially that I have this condition. I would think of her taking good care of me and caressing me to sleep so I won’t feel sad. There are times when I would question God for giving me so much misery when he knows that mom is no longer here to help me make it through. I would wonder why he would test my strength and my FAITH when HE already has my mom…But then again, perhaps he just wants me to always remember HIM…

Anyway, I have made plans already for the next few months. I want to meet my other highschool friends, my college friends, new-found friends and visit places I have never been. But yes, I need to save though for that. LOL! I need to work harder (and bill higher)! to afford all plans I have made…Hmmm…God will take good care of me, I know that for for sure. If it’s meant to be, it will be. One thing this trials is teaching me to TRUST the Lord for his well-made plans for me.


Birthday Thought (2017)

What I have learned in my 42 years of existence:

Respect my self.
Be kind to my self.
Love my self.

After doing the first 3, I learned to:

Respect other people.
Being kind to people.
Loving humanity as I would have love my family.

I also learned that even if I respect other people, there will be others who does not understand the concept of respect. They feel that you owe them whatever you have. They feel like they OWN you.

I also learned that even if I am kind to people, there will be some who will take advantage of my kindness thinking I am stupid not to know the difference.

Fortunately for them, I know when to stress myself and when not to. If someone or something is not helping me to be happy, healthy and successful then I say adios! so long! farewell!

I learned to know where I stand. Learned who I am and what I am.

I learned that I will never beg to be loved, to be respected and to be understood.

I am me. I am not stubborn, just wiser.

Healing Progress: Bell’s Palsy

Just finished with my evening therapy session a couple of minutes ago. I am so thankful to God for healing me this fast! Daily dose of steroids, face massage therapy, reflexology, hot compress and lots of prayers paid off!

Although, I keep on delaying my doctor’s visit…Well, I did. Last Monday, July 10. As what my neurologist told me. However, when I got there the secretary said that he has no schedule during Mondays! How convenient! I asked for a leave from work because of that and then that was it! Anyway, why stress my self over things that are not so important!

During the first week was really a struggle. Especially my work entails calling. So yeah, I have to speak. What I did was to really talk so slowly and refrain from saying words with the letter “P”. So very careful with words with letter “F” and “S”! Ha! Ha! But I was more concerned about my depression too. I really tried hard not to be depressed! Imagine being messy while eating? At my age? Messy?! Grrrrr! Working so hard made me forget I am sick though…

I hope I am fully recovered by Sunday. You see, it’s my 42nd birthday! Yes, I’m old, eh?! Well, it’s just a number! I feel like I am only 25! Lol!

I would prefer to visit the doctor next week and see if I need to finish all the steroids he prescribed (30pcs 20mg each). Ask also effective dosage of Vit B, B1 and B12 for my age. I’d rather be well informed than always consult Google!


Struggle is Real

Today marks the first day after I was diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy. And heck, the struggle is real!

I woke up scared that my face turned to worst. Scared that I might not be able to do the usual things I needed to do. Infact I stayed for about 30 minutes in bed before I stood up and started my usual day.

Today is July 1st. Brand new day, brand new month, brand new goals! I won’t let this illness hinder me from doing what I need to do and what I loved to do. Yep! Working! Well, honestly I am enjoying what I do. I am into social media management and some administrative tasks.

I had breakfast with the family and I noticed that I can’t eat using a tablespoon (we use tablespoon to eat) but only a teaspoon. I just can’t control my mouth enough and so I get a bit messy. I can’t drink properly without the use of a straw. Ding it! So would that mean I won’t go out and have fun? Well, that remains to be seen.

I took a bath and I noticed I had to help my left eye to close so water won’t get inside…how inconvenient!

I turned on my PC and started to work…yeah, you got it right! I am having a hard time looking at it without having to wipe the tears away!

A friend told me that stress could be one of the reasons why I got this…well, not a far fetched idea as I have been stressed to the moon and back for the past few weeks! Maybe…maybe…

But as I have mentioned earlier, this illness won’t hinder me from doing what I have to do, needed to do and loved doing. Perhaps some of you would say that I have to stop and rest. Easier said than done. I have my father and my niece to feed. I have to pay for her tuition fee and her other needs. Plus, I have to have money for my regular check up and money to buy for my medication.

I have FAITH bigger than my problems so I know HE will take good care of me.


I Have Bell’s Palsy

I have been experiencing a sudden numbness in my face and my eyes would twitch for 30 seconds or so the past few days. I didn’t think it was serious. Perhaps I was just tired. I woke up yesterday feeling more uneasy because of the numbness in my face and I feel like my jaw is locked. I just continued working as I really have a lot of things to finish before the weekend.

Today is a different story. I was having breakfast when I noticed I am having a hard time eating properly. I am also having a hard time drinking… The feeling of numbness in my left face is making me more uneasy. I started to pray asking God not to let me have a stroke or something more serious…I have not tried looking at the mirror though. I don’t usually look in the mirror for the longest time because I don’t like seeing how not beautiful I am. Well, there are days when I don’t give a damn but there are days too when you wish you were pretty, right? Anyway, as I was saying, after eating lunch I decided to look in the mirror and see if my suspicion was right. And it was. My lips are distorted (a bit) and that I can’t close my left eye fully and that numbness is more evident this time. What? Why did I wait until lunch time before I looked in the mirror? Well, I am afraid to see the reality too. It’s so hard to be sick nowadays when I really need all the money I can get for my family. It’s so scary because I know that If I get sick today my mom will no longer be around to keep me calm and take care of me.

Anyway, I went to see a neurologist today and yes, I was diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy. So it’s confirmed. I am scared to the bones!

According to National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS), Bell’s palsy is a form of temporary facial paralysis resulting from damage or trauma to the facial nerves. The facial nerve-also called the 7th cranial nerve-travels through a narrow, bony canal (called the Fallopian canal) in the skull, beneath the ear, to the muscles on each side of the face. For most of its journey, the nerve is encased in this bony shell.

Each facial nerve directs the muscles on one side of the face, including those that control eye blinking and closing, and facial expressions such as smiling and frowning. Additionally, the facial nerve carries nerve impulses to the lacrimal or tear glands, the saliva glands, and the muscles of a small bone in the middle of the ear called the stapes. The facial nerve also transmits taste sensations from the tongue.

When Bell’s palsy occurs, the function of the facial nerve is disrupted, causing an interruption in the messages the brain sends to the facial muscles. This interruption results in facial weakness or paralysis.

Also, according to NINDS, Because the facial nerve has so many functions and is so complex, damage to the nerve or a disruption in its function can lead to many problems. Symptoms of Bell’s palsy can vary from person to person and range in severity from mild weakness to total paralysis.  These symptoms may include twitching, weakness, or paralysis on one or rarely both sides of the face.  Other symptoms may include drooping of the eyelid and corner of the mouth, drooling, dryness of the eye or mouth, impairment of taste, and excessive tearing in one eye. Most often these symptoms, which usually begin suddenly and reach their peak within 48 hours, lead to significant facial distortion.

Other symptoms may include pain or discomfort around the jaw and behind the ear, ringing in one or both ears, headache, loss of taste, hypersensitivity to sound on the affected side, impaired speech, dizziness, and difficulty eating or drinking.

Bell’s palsy occurs when the nerve that controls the facial muscles is swollen, inflamed, or compressed, resulting in facial weakness or paralysis. Exactly what causes this damage, however, is unknown.

Most scientists believe that a viral infection such as viral meningitis or the common cold sore virus—herpes simplex—causes the disorder. They believe that the facial nerve swells and becomes inflamed in reaction to the infection, causing pressure within the Fallopian canal and leading to ischemia (the restriction of blood and oxygen to the nerve cells).  In some mild cases (where recovery is rapid), there is damage only to the myelin sheath of the nerve.  The myelin sheath is the fatty covering-which acts as an insulator-on nerve fibers in the brain.

The disorder has also been associated with influenza or a flu-like illness, headaches, chronic middle ear infection, high blood pressure, diabetes, sarcoidosis, tumors, Lyme disease, and trauma such as skull fracture or facial injury.

So, there you go, the medical explanation and all. Actually I am just trying to learn something of this too so I post it here. Let’s see what will happen in the next few days. I know this is curable and nothing to worry about. But who gets calm when they are sick?!

Cooking Lesson 101: Kangkong and Tofu with Oyster Sauce

I told you I will learn to cook! I made this for lunch and oh my! An instant hit!

Of course my dad loves it! My nieces like it too. Not because they can’t complain! Lol! But it really tastes good. I just followed the instruction! How can I go wrong?!

I saw this recipe in the internet made by the company – MAGGI. I tried it and I like it too. Of course it is important that what you are cooking is something you will appreciate too. How can you cook again if you don’t like what you are doing? Although, the kids requested if next time I cook it with less chili so they can really enjoy. Well, why not?! If these kids will eat vegetable, I’ll be happy to oblige!

Here’s the list of ingredients and the cooking direction:

1/4 kg picked leaves and tender stems of kangkong, blanched
1 liter vegetable oil
1/4 kg firm tofu, cut into ½-inch tiles
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 pc small onion, small diced
1/2 pc thumb-size ginger, minced
1 pc red chili, sliced
1 cup water
1/4 tsp freshly ground pepper
2 tbsp cornstarch, dissolved in 3 tbsp water
2 tbsp toasted garlic

1. Heat oil in pan and fry tofu for 2-3 minutes. Transfer into a rack to drain excess oil. Cut into ½-inch  cubes and set aside.

2. Remove oil from the pan leaving 2 tbsp and sauté garlic, onion, ginger and red chili for 2 minutes.

3. Pour water and bring to simmer. Add MAGGI Oyster Sauce and pepper. Stir in cornstarch and water mixture to thicken the sauce.

4. Add tofu and kangkong. Cook for another minute. Transfer into a serving plate and garnish with toasted garlic.


Bon Appétit!

I will Learn How to Cook

I just cooked mushroom omelette today!

I have never been good in the kitchen. I only know how to fry egg, hotdog, ham, bacon and burger patty. It’s something I have never been interested in because my mother has always been there to cook for me…for us…But since she died last year I never tasted a decent food in the house.

Don’t get me wrong, my dad is a good cook too…IF he likes to be but most often than not he just cooks because he needs to. It’s either over cooked or under cooked! The house maid is also not so much of a good cook. She has different way of cooking the usual food we are accustomed to. Although I can’t blame her because each and everyone has a way of cooking a particular food. My mom’s Adobo is different from my dad’s Adobo so much so from our house maid.

Perhaps I have been interested in cooking. I think I am just afraid that I may never be good as my mom. But sometimes I would find myself looking in the internet for recipes. Especially pasta, oh! I love pasta!

It dawned on me last night that if I wanted to eat food that I would really like, then I have to learn how to cook. So I am starting with breakfast. I just hope I can keep this enthusiasm. But who wouldn’t if one is not eating the food he likes, right?

Should you have recommendations please don’t hesitate to send me a message.


We are Working Too Hard

Working like there is no tomorrow – are you guilty of this thing too?

Working your butts off because you wanted to give everything that your family needs. But in doing so you forget to be part of your family’s lives. Working from morning till night and go home too tired to even ask your wife how was her day. Too tired to ask your parents if they took their medicine for arthritis. Too tired to ask your child if everything is okay in school.

Yes, we do get it. You say standard of living is too high. Competition in the workforce is fierce. There are a lot of people who would kill to get that job of yours. Well, okay that is too exaggerated. But yes, we do get it that there are a lot of unemployed people in the country and you are lucky to have one that feeds your family and much more. So of course you want to be the best in what you do and make sure that your company recognizes your effort. You make sure that you exceed whatever expectation they have on you.

You see, we totally understand it. But please try to slow down your work phase and see what you are missing in your everyday life.

Your wife who is very good in gardening and landscaping just impressed a couple of new neighbors and they want her to do their own garden. She also joined a community group so she can help others who are less fortunate. Isn’t she a wonderful human being? She really wanted to tell you all about these good news but when you came home from work last night you were too exhausted that you did not even ate the food she put on the table for you.

Your son who is in senior high school competing for swimming Olympics just won a Gold medal the other day. Your 12 year old daughter had her art works placed in exhibit in the community art museum. You never got the chance to see your son compete. You never get to see your daughter’s work admired by many and even bought for an unbelievable price. Why? You did not open the tiny note they left in your table that morning because you were rushing to get to work. You did not answer your phone because you were talking to an important client.

Your mom was sent to the hospital today because she had trouble breathing. You called your wife to take care of her because you have a dinner meeting with your boss. Your dad is having trouble standing up and walking because of his arthritis. You forgot to fill up their medicine. Why? Because you are too busy thinking of ways on how to improve your company’s marketing strategy to gain more profit.

When was the last time you let yourself relaxed and have a good time? Are you investing in your good health too?

Let me ask you, how important is your career achievement compared to your family? What if your mom dies today, can you find another mom to replace her? What if your daughter was raped and beaten to death on her way home from the museum because you were not able to pick her up? Can you find another daughter to replace her? If you lost your job today because you chose to rush to your mother’s side when she was sent to the hospital, can you find another job to replace the one you lost? Yes! It may take you some time but you will one day! Unlike losing a member of your family. Life can never be replaced.

Indeed having a secure a job is very important. But I hope you try to manage your time and be with your family too. Be there for them physically and emotionally. Appreciate them while they are with you. They can be taken away from you in just a snap of a finger. Learn to set your priorities. It’s never too late you know…


Out of the Ordinary

June 1st, I woke up earlier than usual and prepared to leave at 9am. I will have my pre-employment medical test.

A few days ago a former colleague called me and asked if I wanted to go back and work for their company. Being lonely and at the brink of madness I said yes but only if they will agree to my desired salary.

Working home-based for the past 5 years was a bliss. No traffic, no need to wear decent clothes and need not to worry about where and what to eat. My decision to work at home was mainly so that I can take care of mom who has been sickly and me being sick too. I was diagnosed with Cervical Dysplasia. My hemoglobin would dive down as low as 5 counts thus the need to do blood transfusion. I can only afford the blood transfusion and not yet the operation. Besides I was also very scared to do something like that because it might only shorten my life. Most female relatives who undergone the same procedure died after the operation…well, within the next 3 to 6 months. Finally on November 25, 2014, a good Samaritan shouldered my hospital expenses so I had the procedure done. Biopsy showed I have stage 1 cancer. It did not bothered me at all because my focus then was to make my mom’s health better. She has hypertension, she has diabetes and a heart condition. I was at home 24/7. Never want to leave her side just to make sure she will be alright.

But the unthinkable happened and she was called by our Father in heaven on May 7th of this year. Yes, I was devastated. I was so angry and about to go crazy. She was the most important person in my life. She was my everything. If only I can trade my life for my mom, I would.

And because I was just staying here at home for the past 5 years, I felt like I am about to go crazy because anywhere I look I can see my mom. So, that call on that fateful day was a blessing. I believe it’s time to do something out of the ordinary. Time to get out of my cave and start to mingle again – physically.

I hope that by doing this, it would help me even a bit in bringing my chaotic life back to normal. I hope my mom would agree too of what I did…